Sometimes I feel like my mood changes faster than a woman’s PMS cycle. That is why he quest for lasting happiness is my major focus currently. I’m reading books, Wikipedia, blogs, webpages and god knows what else to try to inch my way towards eternal happiness. Nothing has been miraculous, but I’m ‘inching’, or so I hope.
There are many things to think about when you reflect on how you are going to live your life. Will your parents be okay with what you choose (big deal for Asians)? Will your siblings look down on you? What will your friends think? Will anyone understand why you are doing this? Will you regret it later? Are you able to shut society’s face and do whatever you want? Will you be happier?
That last one is perhaps the most important. The book I am currently loving, written by Tal Ben Shahar, is titled Happier. I’m only 20 pages into it, but I’ve already gotten a lot out of it. Tal Ben calls the question ‘How can I get lasting happiness?’ the question of all questions. I think it’s true. I struggle so much currently because I fall into the ‘rat racer’ category; believing that I am suffering now so I can enjoy life later. That later part never comes. It’s a never-ending chain of rat racing.
Having been rat-racing all my life, I’m thinking maybe it’s time to change. Maybe I shouldn’t worry about the future so much. Maybe I shouldn’t want good grades. Maybe I shouldn’t care if friendships will last. Maybe I shouldn’t care if people will like me and look up to me in the future. Live in the present, they say.
So I’m trying to be happier, but courage and belief are lacking. I don’t quite dare to step on all the societal definitions of success yet. I don’t quite dare to disappoint my parents. I don’t quite dare to wander into the land of uncertainty, which also happens to be the land of possibilities and, perhaps, happiness.
One day, if I overcome my fears, I will wander. And I will tell you how it goes. It is with my utmost that I hope you will start to ask the question of questions, and start being a happier person.