It’s a Sunday night and I have my organic chemistry exam coming up on Tuesday and I haven’t started studying, but that can wait. What I’m about to say is such a momentous shift of perspective – one that I have carried myself over from Thailand to here, and one that I have been carrying for a long time.
If you have not noticed still, I’ve always wondered why I am here. What’s the purpose of life? Life is suffering, says Buddhism. And I do largely agree. I experience suffering all the time, and acknowledge the fact that one can never escape this cycle of suffering unless one attains enlightenment. I believe in the Buddhist philosophy of life and that it is the path towards ultimate bliss, but I’m not sure I have the will do it in this life.
When I was at the Michigan hockey game yesterday, I felt the school spirit right in the air. It was something else. Part of the reason I love Michigan is how passionate about the Michigan Wolverines we all are. I’m the same. I go all in. I might not know that much about sports, but my school spirit is always there. I love the feeling of triumph and achievement in sports. I love the feeling of camaraderie and the Michigan spirit.
Then I was thinking that maybe there’s more to life than trying to escape all the suffering. Maybe I should just go with the flow, go all in and have fun. That’s what I’ve been showing everybody, and that’s made people really happy. So why not?
I do not know how to define success. I do not know what I want with my life. Fame? Not really. Money? Not really. To be liberated from suffering through walking the Middle Path? Maybe.
All I know is I don’t want to be ordinary. My favorite quote from American Beauty:
"There’s nothing worse in life than being ordinary."
Everybody can be extraordinary in their own way. Life is but a learning journey.
I’m rediscovering who I am.
All I know is…
IT’S GREAT! TO BE! A MICHIGAN WOLVERINE!!!