0175 – Uncalled-for changes

It’s been a long time since I’ve been here. It feels deserted.

Just as I started to see some real beauty wonder of the world, reality hit me again. I went to University of Michigan. I miss my best friend. I miss all my friends and I find it very hard to make new ones. I didn’t want these changes.

I didn’t expect to become so attached to the Thai scholars either, but it just happened. You know, I had fun. I didn’t think about Buddhist ideals much. I didn’t think about my academic future.

Maybe it’s time to just.. let life be. I’m starting to feel like maybe I shouldn’t care too much about academics – it’s okay to get Cs and it’s okay not to get that double degree that I wanted. I still want that, but maybe sometimes we all just force life too hard. Life needs some freedom too.

Maybe I can do crazy and wild things. Maybe I don’t have to feel guilty when I am not in touch with the Buddhist way of life. Man, I gotta chill. Believe in what I wanna believe. I barely understand myself most of the time. Why make life more complicated?

I really don’t like these uncalled-for changes, but I guess I gotta learn to get over it.

But do I really wanna try to forget the past that I so dearly cling on to right now? I don’t know. Some things are worth clinging on to, but these things inevitably pull us back. Gotta decide which and when to keep, and when to let go.

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4 thoughts on “0175 – Uncalled-for changes

  1. areugiddy August 10, 2007 / 2:06 pm

    SOMEHOW I FEEL THAT SOMETHING IS BEING DIRECTED INDIRECTLY AT SOMEHOW THAT I KNOW.
    AND ITS NOT A GOOD THING THATS INDIRECTLY BEING DIRECTED
    I WONDER WHAT IN THE WORLD COULD POSSIBLY BE WRONG WITH THE 5th OF SEPTEMBER??!?!?

    • existentiallife August 11, 2007 / 8:52 am

      I dunno also. lol. ask UR MOTHER.
      lol. You look so hilarious in sec 3 LOLOLOLOLOL

  2. josonc September 22, 2009 / 10:10 am

    hey pete. how’re you doing? haha. and blog more often. your posts are very inspiring! 🙂

    • existentiallife September 22, 2009 / 2:52 pm

      haha! HI JOSON! Long time no talk leh! I’m doing ok I guess. Shitloads of work right now I feel so busy, but I also slack a lot so maybe that’s why. haha. how about you? which unit you posted to?

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