0173 – A lesson from my sister

My younger sister cried because of me.
I come from a small family of four. Prim is the only sibling that I have. As the son and the older child, I often entrust myself with the responsibility of ensuring that my sister grows up to be a worldly and scrupulous lady.
I went to study in Singapore for four years and have been away from home a long time. I was totally shocked by how much she has changed. Four years ago, I was just like her at the present moment; naughty, egocentric, irritating, stubborn and overbearing. I couldn’t care less. Now, every time I see her making my mother furious or tearful, a sharp pain of the past pierced my heart. She just wanted things her own way, just like the way I used to be. The memory haunts me till this day.
Feeling wiser, worldlier and in a position of self-assumed authority, I began my attempt to make my sister grow up. At first, I gently told her how my experience in Singapore helped me to mature and realize the inappropriateness of my actions. I wanted her to change, but she was unresponsive. It was as if whatever I said went through one ear and out the other. I started to get angry and agitated about her behavior. I raised my voice and switched to a bitter tone. I reprimanded her for her insensitive behavior towards our parents. I scolded her for being very temperamental and stubborn. I repeated this harsh treatment towards her repeatedly that one day she broke down and cried. What she said that day is imprinted in my mind forever:
‘You also used to be like me once. You had four years to change. How can you expect me to change in four weeks?!  Why do you have to raise my voice against me?! You haven’t changed at all!’
I really haven’t changed much at all, have I? I’m still as egocentric, demanding, impatient and oblivious to my flaws as ever.
I often think that I am always right. I am very proud of how I’ve managed to grow into a man on my own that I often think of myself as a model of personal growth and maturation.
Now that I think of this, I can’t help but chuckle and shake my head at my foolishness and blindness. I am so caught up with pride that I thought the only person that needed to grow up was my sister. Turns out that I need to grow up a lot too. I can’t always get what I want whenever I want.
I finally decided to give my sister time and let her discover who she is on her own. Every single human being on this earth is a unique being and has a unique personality. I am not going to enforce my ideals on her anymore. After all, I’m full of flaws myself. All I am going to do now is to be a supportive and caring brother. I’ll watch her from afar and let her live her own live as I lived my own. I’m going to move in and lend her a shoulder to cry on whenever she needs it. Reminiscing this experience, I realize that I probably learned as much – if not more – about life as she did.

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2 thoughts on “0173 – A lesson from my sister

  1. Anonymous August 1, 2007 / 3:09 pm

    ALYSSHA’S FAULT.
    #1 chang ming and gareth drew the pokemon.
    #2 i helped with the lyrics cos gareth sucks at that
    #3 hsien hui was singing and it wasn’t even a song or anything it was some random tune he invented
    #4 i was just walking around and swinging a weapon i had nothing to do with the video
    #5 alyssha makes bad videos =(

  2. scentimental August 2, 2007 / 2:49 pm

    i agree w christine, msn convos can be kinda fake.
    but i mean, i still cant explain why i sign in everyday lar. haha.

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